The other day I watched my teenage son walk into the kitchen and take a deep breath. He looked down at the counter and started stretching his fingers. He clasped them together and twisted them inside and out, finally he started rotating his thumbs like he was an Olympic Thumb Wrestler warming up. When he was done stretching he gently picked up my phone that was sitting on the counter and proceeded to close every tab, app, and email I had open in my phone. His fingers were flying like he was doing a guitar solo! It’s a running joke at my house that I might have 30+ unread texts, unread items in messenger, a handful of reminds not opened, search tabs, apps and an absurd number of emails not read or opened. Now in my defense it’s not like I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t usually lose a kid for long. My kids typically get where they need to be and I usually answer texts within 24 hours BUT there is an insane amount of coming and going at my house. Now some texts I do read on my watch and not on my phone so that doesn’t count, others are group texts that I read all at one time when I get the chance. Other texts I have mentally responded to but forgotten to actually physically respond. (Sorry if I’ve done that to you!!) All of this got me thinking about our lives right now with 4 active boys and the multiple tabs that are open both in my brain and in my phone.

I don’t know if you are like me, but sometimes my brain glitches. It’s when your mind is running through a thousand different things that need to be done, ordered, cleaned, managed, and then someone asks you a question. When this happens I just stare at people blankly like an idiot, trying to figure out what was just said to me and when that fails, ask them to repeat themselves. It’s not so bad when it’s my kids, and most of my friends understand and laugh at me, strangers on the other hand think I’m an idiot. It’s okay I’ll accept that and own it because in that moment I was an idiot. Ultimately though, I think all of us are the same way toggling through our brains on what we need to do, where we need to go, who we need to pick up, or what we just need to take care of. I know each generation is different but in essence we are all the same. I remember a conversation I had with my Grandmother when I was still in high school. She had just gone to the grocery store that afternoon and she was frustrated because a friend she knew didn’t say hi. She was going through the list of reasons why this particular person didn’t say hi back and she was trying to figure out what she had done to make her mad. I listened for a little while but the answer seemed so obvious to me and I finally said, “Grandma, don’t you think she was maybe just in a hurry? She was probably just repeating bread, milk, and eggs in her head like a song on repeat.” I’m a firm believer that while sometimes you may have offended someone, the reality is that we are all just wrapped up in what we need to do in that moment we miss the important things like personal interaction. It has only gotten worse as we try to navigate through all of the extra distractions that smart phones have added to our lives. While they have been a blessing there is always multiple tabs open in our brains. Mine usually has all the usual suspects open, 90’s gangster rap, recipes, Amazon, the news, email, and an additional tab playing an ad with the sound blaring. The older I get the more I realize what my own Mother went through. I remember being a teenager and I could never understand why she would drive around with the radio off. I just could not understand it. I loved music and would always drive around singing out loud to whatever was on the radio at the time or playing my new favorite CD on my discman while it precariously balanced on my lap. As I have gotten older I have found myself starting to sit in my car in silence especially in carline. It is one of the few times I have my thoughts to myself and I get it now. My mother wasn’t a bore who hated all the glorious 90’s music that I adored but simply trying to gather her thoughts for the day. Just like the lady in the grocery store, she was probably just trying to figure out what was for dinner for the umpteenth million time in her life. Adulting is hard. And so I wonder about the next generation and the tabs that will be open for them in their brains? What are the distractions and craziness for the generations to come because let’s be honest it won’t be less tabs. In the meantime, my phone tabs are mostly cleaned up for the moment, my kids think I’m a bore and don’t appreciate current music, and if you see me out and about and have a really good recipe for dinner please send it my way.

Otherwise, Adam and I are alright, the kids are where they currently need to be and the dog only thinks of food and sleep…